A Grandparents Love

Grandparents bestow upon their grandchildren
The strength and wisdom that time
And experience have given them.

Grandchildren bless their Grandparents
With a youthful vitality and innocence
That help them stay young at heart forever.

Together they create a chain of love
Linking the past with the future.
The chain may lengthen,
But it will never part...

~Author Unknown~

One of my biggest "mommy guilt" moment has to be moving my boys away from their Grandparents. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Jason and I agonized over weeks whether moving was a good decision; we made the decision and then agonized more over whether we made the right decision. I can honestly say we made the right decision for our family. However I still feel pangs of guilt every now and again. The pangs get stronger when I am home visiting my parents and watch the boys play, cook, build and just talk with their grandparents.

I am very lucky that we didn't move out of the state so the boys get to hang out with their grandparents a few time a year. We have the ability to hop in the car and be home in 7 hours, to hang out for a weekend. Which unfortunately we don't do enough, due to T-Ball, Work, School, Birthday Parties, and anything else life throws at us.

We have spent this weekend visiting my family and taking a trip to Disneyland. I planned on being here for 3 days, but as I was getting everything ready to go Jaydon was so upset to be leaving. Jason and I decide we would stay one more day and see how the boys acted. If they were good we would possibly stay longer (The boys and I, Jason had to get back to work) After a perfect day, I still wanted to head home, but my heart was breaking for Jaydon - he was just being so good - I told him the news, and I could tell he was really upset, but he acted like such a mature little man. So I decided I would stay at least another day for him. He was so happy, and all he wanted to do was hang out with Papa. I know I made the right choice this time to stay a little longer (even though I really want to get home)

This weekend, I realized more then ever the boys need their grandparents around more. They enjoy the time with them. They enjoy puttering around the house building trellises and going for ice cream. They enjoy movie nights (every night) upstairs in the movie room. Most of all they enjoy the time with their Grandparents. They enjoy the love and the patience (that most time I don't have for them) As I received a big pang of guilt while I was sitting on the bed telling Jaydon we had to go home, I realized that a few more days are probably good for the boys (even though Bryce opted to go home with Dad) and because of that pang, Jaydon got what he wanted a few more moments of Papa time, a few more days to putter around and make everlasting memories with one of the most important people in his life.

I would give anything to have my grandmothers back to share the important things with. To see my boys grow, to experience the highs and lows life throws my way, and to be a good source of wisdom. So instead of rushing home to get back to my regularly scheduled life, I will let Jaydon appreciate the time he has so he will feel a Grandparents Love a little stronger.

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani

Vegitarian...What?

So I started a new diet to go along with my Boot Camp. I really want to lose some weight before summer time. So far so good. I am doing the Fat Smash Diet by Dr. Ian Smith (you know the guy from Celebrity Fit Club) Anyways for the first 9 days you can not have any meat, bread, pasta, and of course any bad fried, sugary, food. Basically I can eat fruits, veggies, yogurt, 1 slice of cheese, oatmeal, beans, lentils, brown rice, and egg whites. Then after 9 days you can add in 4oz of meat.

So I have made it 8 days so far with out bread, pasta and meat. I never thought I could do it. I have definitely missed the meat and the bread, but I feel great. I have tried new things and new recipes and the kids have not eaten a ton of meat (except for school lunches)

Even though I don't think I could live my life with out meat, I definitely don't need it to survive. It will not be the center of our meals anymore.

A Year and a Half later...

OMGoodness - I cant believe its been well over a year since I blogged! I recently read a dear friends new blog and prompted me to check mine and start blogging again. Never did I think it has been this long.

Well since its been so long, I am just gonna start right in.

This year Master J is in 1st grade and I totally thought that with no more half days, my day would get slower and calmer. Well I was dreaming. I think it got busier and more chaotic. We have homework every night, and then Piano, Church, Playgroup and Baseball every week. Then J needs to clean his room, shower, take care of the dog and Read everyday. However Jaydon is doing great in school; He reads phenomenally. (just too fast) and making friends. He is a social butterfly and I love it. The teacher says he is always nice to everyone and truthfully that's all I want. His being social is only his downfall in class - but what are you gonna do!

B-Man is in Pre-K in the afternoons. He is loving it and his teachers. He has met a few friends he loves. On top of his Pre - K in the afternoons, he takes speech 2 mornings a week. We haven't seen a huge improvement but enough to keep us encouraged. Jason and I were just talking about possibly taking him to an ENT to see if it is something with his ears that would help with his speaking. (there were a lot of things around this decision, which I just don't want to go on a tangent about something else) We go to storytime every week, and he too has T-Ball practice during the week. I am looking at putting him in a science class through our rec center, just not sure if I have the time in my schedule. I can't wait until next Fall when he can go to Wednesday night church with Jaydon, so Jason and I can have a much needed date night once a week. Bryce is getting ready to start Kindergarten next year, he is so excited. He tells me everyday to sign him up hes ready to go.

I started a new job - as a substitute Preschool Teacher. I love it but boy do those kids where me out! I am hoping to get a permanent class next year, but only if it works with my boys' school schedule. I also am on the board for our local Mother's Club and an active PTA member for the year chairing many committees. Along with shuttling the kida around, my days are filled with errands, meeting and kids. So my impression of a calm day was thrown out the window in the first week of school. We have finally settled into a schedule that works and hopefully keeps us on pace.

Jason is doing well. He is coaching both boys' baseball teams as well as coaching and playing on his own. He is definitely tired and worn out by Sunday with all the practices and games. (However with the weather as wet as its been we have not had baseball for 2 weeks) He likes his job and keeps on working.

Now that you know whats been up with us. I will hopefully keep the blogging going. Some days its hard to find the time and others I just dont want to do anything. All in all we are doing good. We are enjoying are free time (when we have it) and trying new things.

The loves of my Life

Have you ever thought to yourself that there was a reason your life took you to a different place? Like for example I knew in my heart that Temecula/San Diego was not the place for us at this moment in our life. I loved living there and miss it so much and I know in my heart we will be back there, but not right now. We tried everything, I went to Minnesota for 3 months thinking we would move there (and thank god we didn't) but that didn't feel right either, we stopped in Austin to see if it would work and finally decided against it. Out of the blue Jason got this job offer to move here and we took it and for some reason I think that it was all part of a bigger plan. Since we moved here we have found out quite alot about ourselves and our family dynamic. Its kinda uplifting in a way.

And then I sit back and am amazed by all the wonderful, open-hearted, kind people I have met here. Its so comforting to know I have a "circle" I have comfort outside of the home and so do my kids. Then I wonder if there was a reason Jaydon is in the class hes in. Was he supposed to meet little Anna and become friends with her. Was he supposed to meet her so she could invite him to Bible Study? Oh boy and when she did his face lit up like he was invited to best party of the year, I couldn't say no. From there we've been to church which is something I knew we needed but was to lazy to do anything about it, but again the look on Jaydons face was priceless and how can you tell your kids "No you cant go to church and learn about God" If it wasn't for little Anna or my friend Edna we would still be lazy and saying we want to go but...

My Friend Edna helped me join Mops and trust me she made sure I was going. Always reminding me to turn in,y paperwork, you need to do it its filling up. With out her too there was no way we would be at this place. I am so proud we took the step mow we have to keep on the path.

I also think we were meant to be at church last Sunday, I think that was in the bigger plan too. The Sermon fit are feelings at the moment, it even made Jason laugh and say he had a good time. (which if you know my Husband is a miracle) I just have this feeling that Everything happened the way it was supposed to. I have this feeling that we are starting down a great path that's only going to bring me more surprises and greater happiness. Its so hard to explain, but I think everythng that has happened this past year was meant to happen, was needed to happen, and was planned to happen. I just feel it in my gut that theres still so much more to happen. I hope I am ready for this new chapter with the boys, cause like I tell people this is the first time in a while I dont know whats going to happen, I dont have anything planned and I am living this life for today and not the future. I am in a weird but good place and experiencing things with the boys I could've never though possible.

I love those little guys more then words can express and even though we have some BAD days they surprise me everyday with something special. I just hope I can me the best mommy for them. I hope they can enjoy me as much as I enjoy them. I hope I have the pleasure of watching then turn in to little men. I hope one day they know how much joy they bring to everyday!

Cloudy with a Chance of....Organizing

So this week has been a pretty hectic one for my household...It seems like every day we had something going on and some days I left the house at 9:00 and didn't get back till 5:00, and all I was doing was running errands.

WE were able to get in a few fun things, playdates and even saw "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" in 3D...That was one of my favorite books in school and I was so happy to be able to share it with the boys. I think they had a great time and it was cool watching Jaydon have fun with his buddy. The "big boys" were able to sit by one another and I think that made them proud.

It is so weird. It is so hard to watching your kids grow up. It seems as though they do it in one day. I still think back to last year and I cant believe how mature Jaydon seems now from last year. He is more in control of his feelings and I think hes is becoming more comfortable with himself.

Wednesday night I took Jaydon to Bible Study at a new place hes never been to, and out of our home city. Is was such a big boy and was ready to conquer this new class all by himself. He took off waved good bye and I was standing there thinking "are you the same little boy that cried EVERYDAY last year when I dropped you off for preschool"..."are you really going to go all by yourself into the church not knowing anybady?" and you know what I followed him into the chapel to make sure he was ok! I was so confused and bewildered I didn't know what to do with myself. It was such a surreal moment for me. I couldn't believe how much he changed, and my heart was hurt "just a ittle bit" cause my baby didnt need me. (now for those of you wondering why I would take Jaydon to a new place and just leave him there, not knowing anyone, he was actually going there with a friend from school, but that friend was not there yet, so I wasn't just leaving my kid in the hands of strange people without checking it out first and making sure he would know someone;) ) I am proud of Jaydon for enjoying his situation and making a few new friends out of it. He has had a lot of new beginnings this year, School, soccer, bible study and Sunday School, and pretty soon Ice Skating. I am happy to say hes embracing everyone and trying to make friends from every activity. Thats not to say hes still not shy, but he always says he wants to be the coolest kid, so I tell him that cool kids are friends with everyone no matter what, and I think he is taking that advice to heart and making his momma proud along the way.

Even though we had a crazy week I am proud to say i got some serious organizing done this week. I was able to get the boys system started...I have a few things to tweak and a little more decorating to do. I was also able to get the boys art center started...same thing a little tweaking to do and it will be ready. It feels good to do, but it take so much and I am hoping it will help keep us a little organized. I still feel like there is so much more to do, I havent even started on the garage, my room or the bathrooms. Hopefully I will find the time and the funds to get it all done, it has been a goal of mine for at least a year to get things organized and situated to how I "exactly" want them. That is hard to do, cause you spend your time searching for the right thing and sometimes that doesn't exist, but I am doing my best. Then once everything is put together and organized its time to paint...maybe I'll never be done. Oh well at least I am having a little fun doing it.

So as my time is working itself out, I am happy to report I am finding little spurts of time and enjoying the calm. My goal is to soon have more quiet time and less chaotic time, but I am slowly learning if I just push through the sand will settle and we'll be in a routine. Hopefully that routine doesn't become boring!!


Here is a picture of my parent and kids when they were up visiting a few weeks ago!!

LIghts, Thunder, and Staples...OH MY

So I have had a very eventful end of the week. On Thursday night Bryce was laughing and bouncing around the living room. Well all of a sudden he falls hits his head on the wall and cuts his head open. My little baby Bryce need to go to the ER and get his head stapled...I couldn't believe it He has been a rough and tumble boy from an early age and I can only assume this is not the last time we will pay a visit to the ER. He was so braved, totally let the Dr. Clean his wound and sat there while he put 2 staples in the back of his skull. He didn't cry until the last staple was already in. What a big boy I have. BUT J man on the other hand was so worried about little B he kept asking if he was ok and was being so nice to him (at least we know now that deep down he loves his brother, on a day to day basis it would be questionable) and once he found out what was going to happen with the staples, I think he was more scared then Bryce. Maybe Jaydon will learn from this experience too.

So after our head indecent is all over we are looking forward to a calm and fun weekend with Jaydons Opening Ceremony for Soccer on Sat. We put the kids to bed early, have everything prepared to leave the house at 7 am. We go to bed to be waked at 4 am to the loudest thunder I have ever heard (and I've lived in the Midwest)It was crazy, so of course we all don't get a good nights sleep, but we wake up at 6 to get ready for the BIG day. We go get coffee and donuts and head to the soccer field. The mornings going well with blue skies...everyone's lined up and the Ceremony is starting. They make it through the a few divisions and then big J and Little J run out with the team and their banner and them all of a sudden the LOUD thunder is back. The thunder was so loud it shut all the speakers off and the guys video camera next to me was making static noises. It was so crazy...well obviously the game was canceled and so was the rest of the opening ceremony. Poor Jaydon was so upset, all he wanted to do was play a game of soccer. He got over it and is anxiously waiting for next weeks game.

So I am hoping that Sunday will be a relaxing day in my household...We defiantly need it.

TIme to Slow Down

So I am totally loving that Fall is Right around the corner. I love the warm crisp air that fall brings, and the changing leaves and all the fall veggies. I cant wait to start making Pumpkin Pie and Apple Crisp, as Bryce would say "Yummy Yummy!!"

I am also excited for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Last year the boys and I were in transition stage so we stuck close to one another and did a lot of things to keep us busy, so we made a lot of crafts and baked a ton. As I realized that fall was coming I realized that if we didn't slow things we weren't going to be able to keep some of the traditions the kids and I started last year. So we are officially in slow down mode. I am going to try and slow down our schedule. We are going to focus back on family fun for the season and add some friends activity's into the mix. I need to make sure that the kids are having fun and enjoying their self and make sure that they keep some of their favorite activities from last year around to start the traditions I would like them to carry with them forever.

Its going to be hard cause I have a busy complex...I love to be busy ALL the time, but when I am busy ALL the time I crash and burn when I am tired. To the point where it takes me a week to recover. I think I need to pace myself and enjoy the moments I get alone with the boys. We were discussing how last year we just enjoyed being together, just the 3 of us. I just want to be able to have some Mommy and Me time with just me and the boys and be able to cuddle up in front of the fire while reading scary Halloween books. Or enjoy decorating the House as a family of 4. I just feel that as the pace we are going now I wont enjoy the decorating or I will put it off until its to late. Then the kids wont enjoy it, cause really I do it for the kids. They enjoy having a festive house, they think its cool, but really they enjoy helping out and being together as a family.

I guess that's what this time of year is all about, Spending time with the family. Maybe that's what makes it so special for me. Not the weather or colors or food, but family.

Wish me luck on the slow down mode, it is going to be really hard for me.